My family continues to be the best petri dish for ideas for my blog. My wife Loren often comments to “correct” me and straighten the record. On a recent family trip to visit her parents, a couple incidents occurred that raised the question of who comes first? – friends, the kids, her parents, me?
At dinner with one of her friends, she seemed to cater to the dietary desires of their kid, who is a vegetarian. Every dish, it seemed, had to be cleared with him. Now, there were 5 others of us, for this Chinese meal, but it felt like the only one that mattered was that boy. It was very clear who comes first in that family.
Second example happened at the gym. We brought my son, Loren’s step-son who she adores and who adores her in return, thank G*d. As it turned out, he wasn’t allowed into this gym due to an age limit. I wanted to work out a certain length of time, which she made me feel wasn’t okay, since our son would have to wait (he had a book to read as he always brings one and loves to read).
Am I being selfish? Sure, sometimes I know I am. But, who should come first? With her parents, I think it’s clear it should be them. With our own family, I think it should be us, the adults, with the kid’s interests and desires taken into consideration but not catered to while, with friends, I think it should be a compromise of everyone’s desires. Again, I wonder what is right, what is fair? I expect we’ll hear from Loren who’ll give “her side of the story,” only reinforcing that what do I know; I’m just a guy.
