When does being friendly cross over to being flirty? Can a married man ever be “friendly” with another woman without it being potentially misinterpreted or, worse, being hurtful, dishonest, or even non-sexually unfaithful to his wife? I struggle with this, given my out-going nature and my wife’s somewhat reserved nature.
I also struggle with “looking” and there’s no question in my mind that it is completely disrespectful and inappropriate. My “fix” (guys always have to have a fix, don’t we?), other than being aware of this deficiency in my make-up, is to walk a little behind my wife so she doesn’t notice the occasional lapse. When we’re in a restaurant I strive to seat myself facing a wall and hopefully have her facing outward, so I focus on just her.
We are wired differently, as men are much more visually stimulated in general than women. So, even when committed via marriage or a monogamous relationship, we men can get distracted. The degree and amount of it is the issue along with the sensitivity of your partner. Ultimately, the “looking” gets us nowhere if our intention is to stay faithful, as is mine.
But, the flirting thing is different. As I work behind a computer, at home, I tend to interact with everyone I encounter when I’m out. But, to be honest, I may favor being friendly to the good-looking women more than the fat old guys, as it brings me a little sense of validation and it’s fun. Am I crossing the line or am I just a guy?
