While I write many blogs and other types of content throughout the week, the Weekly Column is my weekly feature topic, which will also be the basis of my weekly radio show and #dadchat. Posted on Sunday night or Monday morning, they are a great way to start off your week with something to think about, as well as something to talk about.
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I’ve got two teenage boys. I’m watching their respective growth – physically and in asserting their growing independence – with both awe and concern. My older son has changed his “look” repeatedly all of his teen years, mostly with his hair length and color and cut, but lately he’s added tattoos to the mix. His younger brother has largely asserted his independence by acting independent and a bit defiant.
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Any parent that has more than one kid usually recognizes that all children are not the same, regardless of genetics or similar upbringings. Yes, there are The Osmonds and The Jacksons, where musical talent seems to be inherited. The same applies to some sports families. But, I would assert that more often than not, the kids we have are not that similar other than possibly looks, if we’ve had them with the same partners (obviously not counting adoption cases).
I like to think that I’m the cool dad. And, in many ways, my boys and their friends confirm that thinking. But, in other ways, I’m the dad that does too many embarrassing things. I think all parents do this but it’s the degree and particulars that will make a big difference to your kids and will hurt your ability to get close to them and their circle.
This post will continue the “Best Of” series of column re-runs — early “A Dad’s Point-of-View” columns that may not have seen much in the way of readers. Thankfully, my writing and Social Media work have grown considerably since I began writing way back when. What I strived to do from the onset was to write about topics that had what I like to call evergreen value, meaning the topic was not time-sensitive.
Recently at #DadChat, we “took on” sexual abuse as our topic. It was a powerful chat with a powerful co-host in Rachel Thompson, author of Broken Pieces, her very open and personal story about her own painful experience with sexual abuse. Rachel is not bashful or shy about attacking this subject. She is also not afraid to be frank. Consequently, this particular #DadChat hit home for many participants and provided some great takeaways.
Pouting. We all dislike it, but I bet most of us still do it. So, this topic is not just reserved for our kids. Do you pout when you don’t get your way? Does your spouse? I’m a world-class pouter. But, thankfully, my adult brain occasionally kicks in to persuade me of the folly of that behavior. For our kids, that adult brain isn’t there yet.
No, I do not think I’m a racist. But, I do wonder how my thinking towards race has evolved over the years and especially in light of recent events in my life.
My boys are bi-racial. My two wives were both of a different race than me and I’ve dated different ethnicities and races, religions, and other varieties of women plenty before I married the first time, at 39.
How big is the generation gap, really? What were the slang words of your generation? Mine included groovy and bitchin’ among many others. Every generation has its own slang, dress, general look, and of course, its own music. Every generation looks back at theirs as the best and I actually think this is a darn good thing. For young boys and girls, dressing differently than their parents, listening to different music, and generally speaking their own language is the first step on the road to independence.
