As often is the case, a dinner conversation can be the fodder for a good column. At dinner with my wife and a female friend we were talking about how the sexual habits and views of sex have changed so very much in our lifetimes. When we were young, the words “hook up” or “hooking up” simply met meeting a friend. Now they mean having sex. So, it’s no surprise that the “friends with benefits” idea would extend further than simply a consenting couple having sex now and then. Now there are “arrangements” where financial terms are discussed up front in exchange for sex.

I was talking with a good friend who happened to share that her brother had recently gotten a promotion, yet he was always in money trouble. When I probed for the reason, she really didn’t have any, but it provoked a discussion about how people spend, save, and manage their money. This friend went on further to state she didn’t know how she could even be related (to her brother) given their completely opposite habits about money.

I have been a mentor/friend to “David” for a half-dozen years or so – long enough that I don’t really remember (how long). David (a pseudonym) is in his twenties and suffers from a rare disease in which he has a handful of challenges and remains intellectually and emotionally at the level of about a 12-14 year old. He has minor symptoms of autism, walks a bit awkwardly, and his speech is sometimes difficult to understand.

As I enter the twilight years of my life – or at least the latter half of my life – I have come to the conclusion that I will never fully understand women and sex. However, I have gotten better than the stumbling young man I used to be and wanted to share some random observations that may help other stumbling men (and women).