Envy – One of the Seven Deadly Sins (“Just A Guy”)

Posted on January 2, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

I recently visited my best friend, who moved from L.A., to a small town in the Northwest. He built a home, from scratch, supervising every detail, and with his wife, they created their dream home. I found myself feeling a tad of envy, as he took me on the tour of the house, pointing out all the beautiful details.

As we’ve been renting for several years, the pride of ownership is just not part of our lives and our belief is that the practical choice is to stay in rent for the near future. Our choice, certainly. But, as I reflected on my own bout of envy, I thought about my boys and how often they’re comparing themselves to their peers.

Just A Guy Alone (on Christmas)

Posted on December 24, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

So, my first wedding anniversary is right after Christmas and my wife and I will be alone on separate continents. We didn’t plan it this way, but it turned out just as we planned.

We celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas, so at least we’ll have a couple of days of Hannukah before they leave. I’m quite conflicted doing both holidays, but I’ve had to let that one go–part of the compromises of marriage and a strong-willed, stubborn wife. Or course, I’m not the least bit stubborn.

Just A Guy and His Dogs

Posted on December 11, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I rescued Simon from the pound, after seeing him there, labeled a “dog-fighter.” A big black dog, 80 lbs., they said he would never find a home, people were reluctant to adopt any large black dog, and the label he carried among the other dogs was a virtual death sentence.

He appeared scared, but loveable. We brought our other dog, a smaller pointer mix that we’d also rescued, to see if they would get along. They did and we adopted Simon.

Just A Guy and His Overwhelmed Wife

Posted on December 10, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I have an overwhelmed wife. And, I suspect I’m the first guy who has heard from his overwhelmed wife how busy she is, how much she does, how tired she is, how under-appreciated she is, and how I do nothing. Well, it’s true. I actually do nothing.

I don’t take care of the boys, pay for our lives, walk our three dogs, pay the bills, clean up after myself and others in the kitchen, occasionally cook, often BBQ, do the CostCo runs, put gas in my wife’s car, tell her how much I love her, and how amazing her cooking is. Nah, I do none of that stuff.

Just A Guy, His Wife, and The KIDS

Posted on December 5, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

So, herewith Part Three of my blogs about the “Big Three” subjects most couples argue about. We’ve done money and sex; now “the kids.” I will declare, at the onset, that this issue is usually more combustible in blended families, though it certainly is present in nuclear ones as well.

For us, we had to deal with me having raised my kids alone for several years and my second wife having not had kids or any meaningful (especially living with them) experience with kids. But, she’s got an opinion and has never been bashful about expressing it (anymore than me).

Just A Guy Saying There Are Winners and Losers

Posted on November 29, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

In our elementary schools and team sports for younger kids there seems to be this foolish desire to make everyone a winner. But there are winners and losers. They had assemblies at my kids’ elementary schools, several times a year, in which eventually every kid won an achievement award. When I coached my young son’s coach-pitch baseball league, I was told at the end of the season to get trophies for everyone, including myself. Instead of enhancing self-esteem, the truth is this just diminishes any one child’s actual accomplishments.

Just A Guy, His Wife, and Sex

Posted on November 28, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

So, last week’s blog was about one of the other three common couple’s argument topics, money, and I thought I’d take on the easier one with this blog – sex. Yeah, very easy.

While I declared that sex isn’t a big issue in our household, and it isn’t, I also have to admit it is an issue. There’s a movie quote, don’t ask me from which movie, that goes something like this, “He wants, she doesn’t, he wants, she doesn’t,” which sums up the stereotype thinking on sex between couples.

Just A Guy, His Wife, and $Money$

Posted on November 22, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Clichés are clichés because they’re usually true. They say the biggest arguments couples have are over sex, the kids, and money. True? You bet. At least in my house it’s restricted to just one of those – $money$. Maybe I’ll just do future blogs about the other two subjects ‘cause you know I’m lying about money being the only issue we ever have.

But, this time, we did get in a heated argument over $money$. I think that second marriages are more complicated on most levels as each partner does bring more history, more literal baggage, and potentially kids, to the marriage. I brought the baggage of an ugly, angry, costly divorce in which my ex also abandoned my boys. My present wife has often stated that she feels she’s paying for the sins of my ex. And, to some degree, she is right.