Dogs in Bed?

Posted on June 19, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

I love my wife, I love my boys, and I love my dogs. In that order. As I re-married after a contentious divorce, the blending of my family—my two boys, my two dogs, and me with her and her one dog, was a challenge. She had to deal with more adaptation, without a doubt, but we had to deal with a woman in our midst and one that, surprise surprise, actually cared about cleanliness and order.

For me, the biggest challenge in dealing with the mostly positive changes in our all male household, was giving up the warmth and companionship of my dogs, in bed with me. They were there, for me, in the darkest hours of my separation and divorce, when my boys were with their mom, when our then large home felt cavernous and terribly quiet and empty, and I literally think they saved my sanity.

Expectations — A Lose-Lose

Posted on June 18, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

Expectations. Having them just hurts and disappoints. Maybe have them for yourself, but I’d rather re-phrase them as “goals” rather than expectations.

I’ve had expectations my whole life and they’ve only caused heartache, disappointment, and bad behavior when I lashed out at those that didn’t fulfill MY expectations. Bad behavior that hurt me more than them.

Right now, I’m facing some failed expectations and doing my darndest to not let them phase me or hurt the relationships involved. As you probably know, I have a new Radio Show – “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” on Thursdays, at 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara. More info on the show can be found on my “Radio Show” tab on my web-site. The radio business has changed and it’s often the second job of the host of a show to help secure sponsors to support and pay for the show. So, I reached out initially to people I’ve done business with over the years and felt were either my honest-to-goodness friends or certainly close acquaintances. One, in particular, I’ve known for 15 years and we’d grown quite close. He’s come through as my first sponsor. However, the other two I contacted have not come through, one way or another.

Just A Guy Who Likes Separate Vacations!

Posted on June 13, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

I admit it; I like going away without my wife sometimes. And, I suspect she feels the same? She occasionally wants to visit her parents, who live out of town, without having to worry about me. After all, I am a helpless male.

Let’s face it; we sometimes like separate time and even separate vacations. I ended up being alone over Christmas for ten days and while I missed my family, I loved answering to no one. And, for my wife, I know she needs that separate time, too.

Just A Guy Who Likes Making More Money

Posted on June 5, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

There was a recent Pew Center study (http://bit.ly/PewCtr) that revealed how much more equal income has become between the genders. In more cases than ever, more women are working and more women are earning higher income than their male counterparts. While I believe totally in equal pay for equal work, I do question the impact on relationships when the woman is making more than the man.

With each generation becoming more accustomed to gender equality, I feel it will eventually settle into a comfortable reality that men and women will accept. But, for now and maybe longer, the inherent gender differences may remain and be a problem between couples when the woman is making more than the man.

Memorial Day — One Year Later: My Story

Posted on May 31, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

Memorial Day–One Year Later, by Bruce Sallan

For me, this Memorial Day, I have an anniversary. One for which I shudder a bit in memory and also feel extremely grateful. That is what Memorial Day is actually all about –gratitude for the men and women that have served our country in the armed forces, sacrificed their lives or their physical well-being, in support of making the world safer.

In recognition of those men and women, I first share with you this short video of VJ Day in Honolulu, Hawaii on August 14, 1945, less than 6 years after Pearl Harbor, the day that “will live in infamy,” according to our then President, FDR.

Just A Guy Saying Women NEED Men

Posted on May 29, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

There was a popular feminist slogan in the early days of “the movement” that went something like, women need men as much as a fish needs a bicycle.

Thankfully, we have moved past the radical nature of early feminist’s beliefs to a middle ground, though you’d never know it if you looked at the courses and syllabuses in Women’s Studies departments at colleges.

But, most men and women, especially moms and dads, understand that equality doesn’t mean we’re the same. We all tend to agree that equal pay for equal work is the way it should be, but in other areas our gender needs are just different. We are built differently, so get over it.

My Son’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Dream Came True

Posted on May 5, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

On May 3, 2010, my son’s dream came true! He went to see his idol Chris Cornell at a benefit acoustic concert at The Roxy, on Sunset Blvd., in Hollywood, California. With his girlfriend Logan, they pushed their way to the front of the crowd. Cornell was playing acoustic guitar with only a cello as back-up.

Arnie and Chris Cornell at The Roxy, May 2010

At a pause between songs, Arnie shouts out, “Hey, Chris, I have a question for you” and gets his attention, to which Chris asks, “Yes, what is it?” Arnie then shouts, “It’s been my lifelong dream to jam on one song with you.” Cornell says, “Well, what do you play and do you have a song in mind?” Arnie replies, “I’ve been playing guitar for 6 years and I want to play “Fell On Black Days” at which point the crowd is shouting to Chris, “Let him, Let him!”

Just A Guy Whose Son Asks to Drop Out of High School!

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Bruce Sallan

Our teens love to surprise us with their latest brilliant idea and my 16-year-old didn’t disappoint the other day. Almost literally waiting at the door for my return home, he accosted me with the urgency only a hormonal teen can bring. “Dad, I hate high school and want to drop out and do independent study,” he declares.

I think I would’ve preferred, “Hey Dad, whas up?”

We sat down and he began his pitch. The fact that all this followed a recent social disaster at school he quickly dismissed as irrelevant. His rationale was that he is totally bored in high school, his teachers are boring, none of what he’s learning interests him, and he’d rather go back to home-schooling or “independent study,” as they call it at his high school.