Suddenly 15 Again, 40 Years After Woodstock

I just attended the Outside Land Music Festival, in San Francisco, with my teen son and two of his female friends.  It proved to be a rare opportunity to relive my youth, experience those feelings of excitement only a 15-year-old can feel, and vicariously share it all through their eyes and the excitement they radiated the entire time.

The line-up was extraordinary and included Incubus, Black-Eyed Peas, Pearl Jam, the Dave Matthews Band, and Tom Jones, the current retro star of this generation.  And, the Welsh hipster didn’t disappoint as, at 69, he put on a show that rivaled any of the younger headliners.  The crowd of kids knew every word of every one of his songs. read more

Just A Guy Wondering Who Comes First?

My family continues to be the best petri dish for ideas for my blog.  My wife Loren often comments to “correct” me and straighten the record.  On a recent family trip to visit her parents, a couple incidents occurred that raised the question of who comes first? – friends, the kids, her parents, me?

At dinner with one of her friends, she seemed to cater to the dietary desires of their kid, who is a vegetarian.  Every dish, it seemed, had to be cleared with him.  Now, there were 5 others of us, for this Chinese meal, but it felt like the only one that mattered was that boy. It was very clear who comes first in that family. read more

Just A Guy Farting

Okay, let’s admit it.  We guys tend to let loose with the occasional bodily “expression,” and in the case of me and my boys, we really do enjoy hearty burping or guy farting.  In fact, we have a family tradition of saying “Ralph” when we burp.  Try it sometime; you’ll crack up.

This is another significant difference between men and women.  Not only do we enjoy it; we validate each other for a “good one.”  While my wife was gone, caring for her mother recently, it allowed my boys and I to revert to our Neanderthal behaviors.  You know, the stuff that comes “naturally.” read more

Just A Guy Recognizing They Do Grow Up!

My best friend’s son, his youngest, has been house and teen-sitting for us. He’s 20 now and he’s really grown up in so many ways.  It seems the alien pod has left his body and the sane human being his parents raised has returned.  Such a relief, as it gives me hope for my two to know that they do grow up!

When he was my teen’s age I remember an incident that really stuck with me, when his family moved.  I had offered to help and was horrified at how they allowed and indulged their youngest to basically sit around and do nothing, while we worked tirelessly.  He was that self-absorbed. read more

Just A Guy Wishing His Kids Said “Yes” Once In a While

What happened to kids listening to their parents?  It seems whatever I ask my boys to do, the response is always some sort of “No,” whether it be questioning why I won’t do it myself or saying “later.”  Am I missing something or have I just become a total wimp of a dad?

When did it become okay to disobey our parents with relative impunity?  I guess when us boomers became parents and began spoiling our kids by giving them everything they wanted. read more

Friends, Dads, and Quality Time from Australia by Bruce Sallan and Darren Lewis

One of the wonders of the Internet and my writing has been the reach it’s had globally.  Not long ago, I received an email that began with “G’Day” from a man named Darren who had come across one of my columns.  He wrote a wonderfully complimentary note and also told me about his fathering website and business.  Clearly, though we live literally on opposite sides of the globe, our values united us instantly.

I asked him to send me something that expressed his views and what his site offers which is centered on adventures with fathers and their children, boys or girls.  He also included some very relevant data that I totally agree with and that also makes me sad to read.  How so many parents can spend so little time with their offspring is a mystery to me.  The lasting damage is incalculable.  I’m often struck by the clearly documented fact that human beings tend to recreate behavior they’ve learned whether it’s good or bad.  That’s why abused children often become abusing parents.  It defies logic, to me, but the evidence is overwhelming.  read more

Just A Guy That Misses His Heroes

heroesI’m just a guy that misses his heroes. When I grew up, it was easy to know the good guys from the bad guys.  In some cases they actually wore white hats.  Or, in my first exposure to a movie hero that I remember, it was Steve McQueen as Hilts, the motorcycle-riding, Nazi-defying loner who comes through, in the end, for the guys, in The Great Escape.  He was the epitome of cool.  I thought policemen were also cool and politicians looked like JFK and were to be respected. Nostalgic times, for sure.

But, it changed.  Changed with the sixties, changed with Watergate, changed with Vietnam, and more.  The legacy of those years is what our children now live with.  Who are their heroes?  Do we really want them worshipping all the NBA superstars who are covered with tattoos and whose personal lives are best left for the tabloids?  My sports heroes were like Sandy Koufax who stood by his principles and didn’t pitch a World Series game on a religious holiday of significance to him.  read more

Just A Guy Without His Wife

I’m just a guy without his wife. She is out of town and, gulp, I have to admit I sort of like it.  The reason she’s gone I don’t like, as her mother is having some serious surgery, and we’re all concerned.  Putting that aside, I must say I’m enjoying the alone time.  In short order, I will miss her as I love her dearly and appreciate all the good she brings into our house, for my boys and myself.  But, for the moment, it’s sort of cool.

My parents were of that “other” generation.  They met when they were 17 and 14, married in their early twenties, and were together EVERY day of their lives unless one of them was in the hospital.  EVERY day, for 66 years.  No typo.  They also had lunch together nearly EVERY day.  Theirs was a love for the ages. read more