Just A Guy Struggling With Whining Kids

Posted on July 18, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

“I HATE it,” or “I HATE my teacher,” or “I HATE that restaurant.” Sound familiar. When my younger son uses that word or is complaining or whining as much as he and his older brother do, I find myself going nuts on them. “You HATE” such and such? There are things to hate in this world, like terrorists, rapists, serial murderers, taxes, Britney Spears and Renee Zellweger, but an item of food, a less than terrific teacher?

This falls under the category of spoiled rotten. I must’ve done something to encourage this behavior and my new wife always gives me “the look” when they act that way; the look that says, “well, where do you think they got it from?” I then give her the look that says, “bug off,” and we go on to a fight from there. Okay, just kidding. Sort of.

Just A Guy Dealing with a Slight Role Reversal

Posted on July 11, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Being the stay-at-home Dad is supposedly accepted in our diverse and accepting culture where role reversal has become quite common. But, the reality is different, as this dad has experienced, especially when introducing a new women, my new wife, into the family. Who does what and what we expect from each other is often murkier in reality than in the latest issue of “O.”

In a nutshell, she goes to work; I stay home with the boys. I take them to school and deal with all their extra-curricular activities. I carry the larger load of discipline issues and I do the majority of the shopping. She takes care of the house and does most of the cooking and cleaning. I’m the biological parent; she’s the step. She teaches them manners; I teach them how to burp louder.

Just A Guy That Looks

Posted on July 3, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

You will always find a guy that looks at women. Yes, there’s a time and place for doing it. But we will also do it when it’s not the time and place. It’s in our hard wiring. Two recent outings with my wife brought this to mind – because, yes, sometimes I am a guy that looks.

First, we were driving at night and pulled alongside a line of (young) people waiting to get in a club. My wife was driving but noticed that I “gazed” at the abundance of barely clad women. Now, of course, she would say, “slobbered.”

Just A Guy Who Misses Holding (His Boys) Hands

Posted on June 28, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

The other night we were in a restaurant, no kids, and we heard a little boys uproarious laughing. He was giggling while he watched a little wind-up toy jump and flip in front of his hands. His youngish parents were enjoying his pleasure and delight and I found myself equally caught up in the spirit.

But, it also created a moment of melancholy as I reflected on how so many of those childhood joys were over with my boys. Now, honestly, there are many of those so-called passages that I certainly don’t miss. First on that list is the smell of baby wipes, and everything else that went with the diaper, poop, and changing stages. For years after they were toilet trained, I’d get a whiff of those smells, out of thin air, and breathe a sigh of relief that that phase was over.

For every one of those stages that I don’t miss are those, like in the restaurant, that I actually long for. Like when my boys would reach up and grab a hold of my hand. When walking hand-in-hand was special to them, even when they were so small that their arms were stretched up to reach my hand. I contrast that with my teen now, looking down on me, as I shake my finger up at him and announce “you’re grounded.”

Just A Guy Who Used To Be Single On Father’s Day

Posted on June 21, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

This Fathers Day, being recently remarried, I don’t have to face it wondering what to do and who will teach my boys to remember and respect me. But, in previous years, while I was encouraging them to make or buy Mother’s Day and birthday cards for their mother, who had abandoned them, there seemed to be no one to help them with the same task for me.

This is no feel-sorry-for-myself reflection, but a conundrum many single parents face when their birthdays or other holidays come about. I was vigilant in reminding them to remember their mother and her mother, not because she deserved anything from them, but because it taught them to respect parents, other relatives, and learn the right thing to do when they got older.

Just A Guy Reviewing A Book: American Parent by Sam Apple

Posted on June 19, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Sam Apple recounts a journey I know well: the journey from childless husband to new parent. As a dad to two boys, 15 and 12, the memories of their births and the anxieties felt at the time have faded, to be replaced by current anxieties like my teen wanting to drive (over my dead body–or a “B” average, which ever comes first). His self-effacing approach makes this less a Dr. Spock how-to than a valuable calming tool for first-time parents. Apple’s book cannot be easily labeled—it is not quite a memoir, not quite a news report, and not quite a collection of humorous essays, but a bit of all of these.

Sam, as a journalist himself, took an investigative approach to all the current trends among new parents, from baby naming (yes, you can actually hire a consultant) to Water Births (I thought that only happened to fish), as well as stops to debate the value of Lamaze vs. Bradley methods of coaching during birth, Pre-Natal Ed, and whether you might need a Doula in the delivery room. Yes, a Doula. I’ll leave that for your reading pleasure when you pick up American Parent.

Just A Guy Reviewing A Movie: Away We Go

Posted on June 17, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Away We Go is the newest movie from director Sam Mendes (Road to Perditiion, American Beauty) and, unlike his bigger budgeted studio productions; this feels like a labor of love; like an independent film. It’s a charming movie with just the right mix of humor, reality, and poignancy. It had this viewer laughing, relating, and crying at various times which, given my cynical view of Hollywood lately, is quite an achievement.

Oddly enough, it feels like the movie companion piece to a book I reviewed for momlogic called American Parent by Sam Apple. That book was about a soon-to-be father’s journey of discovery when his wife became pregnant. He researched various trends in parenting and giving birth, and approached it all with a healthy dose of wonder and are-you-kidding-me, when he dealt with some of the fringe movements.

Momlogic Webcast 3

Posted on June 1, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

What do women want? That question may never be answered but one thing is true: Once we understand men are men and women are women and both are very different, we’re on the right track to figuring it out. Stay tuned for the following Momlogic webcast.