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No... that title does not endorse spousal abuse... but your inclusion of MOVIE SMACKDOWN! in your radio show pilot.

From what I heard, it sounded like a show that actually carves out a new, under-served, specific niche on the radio which is something that is always of great value.

So... good luck, Bruce!

I am a mother that left her children (2 girls) for about 5 years because I just could not cope. I was left by my own mother and I promised myself that my children would not have to go through the pain I went through. But history has a way of repeating itself. If it wasn't for my girls father I don't know where they would be. When I came back, my oldest, forgave me instantly, it took longer for the youngest. My girls are adults now and we have a very good relationship. I am sober now and have not had a drink since 2003. My ex (girls father) has never forgave me and now he has quit having anything to do with the girls. If there are any dads out there who are raising their children because the mother left. When and if their mother comes back please don't put your children in a place where they feel they can't love the both of you. Remember their mother will always be their mother.

On behalf of all the people of my generation, I apologize. We started the sexual revolution. We are the ones that wanted to be free to express ourselves any way we wanted. We were the rebels, the ones that confronted our parents generation's denials who were hiding all of their feelings and mistakes for fear of what the 'others' might think and say about them. We are the ones with Pluto in Leo. We wanted drugs, sex and rock and roll. We turned it all upside down. Can we really imagine what our parents felt like? I don't mind so much that it's all out in the open now. Hopefully, the present generation can observe how far the pendelum swung the other direction and learn how to put it back in balance.
I remember showing our boys the trap of advertising and one of their lessons was to pick out what tactic they were using to get you to buy their product. We taught them how to be kind but watch when someone may be trying to manipulate you into doing something you feel is not 'right' for ...

I enjoyed your post very much,and agree with your points. Our kids' world is spinning at the speed of light, and parents have to hang on and hope for some control until we realease our offspring into this gadget-holding generation to hopefully be productive and compassionate people.
Thanks for your insightfull post!

Bruce;
You forgot one ugly point that many americans are loathe to address. The % of hard work our kids will have to sacrifice to pay foreign governments for our current spending habits. Or THEIR current spending habits, not mine...
Bob H.

Bob H - I agree with you but don't write about politics - I just get too heated.

Happy new year to all. I really like the way the blogs emphasize compromises that need to be made in a relationship. I am off to NY with wife tomorrow and will try to keep the idea of compromises front and center.

Philippe - so glad to see your comment. I wish I could do as I say better! LOL. Would love your comments on my momlogic blogs on momlogic! Check me out there in the bloggers section, but here's the direct link:

http://www.momlogic.com/bloggers/bruce_sallan/stories/

Have fun in New York - I hope it's a fun not work trip?

Everyone of us can bring a kid to life, but not everyone of us can make that kid grow up into a good person or make his life bloom. It has effects on the parent psychologically. It manages stress and helps to unwind with reality. But being a good parent also requires quality time, effort and knowledge as well (which luckily can be gained by learning and practice, I downloaded great books by rapidshare SE ) Being a good parent is doing it with passion.

Dear Bruce,
I've only recently become familiar with your work and so enjoyed your column about your role as "Senior Dad." In reading a little about you, I see you've certainly had an intense parenting role over the years, so it must be wonderful to have a partner again, congratulations to you both! In my work (marriage and family therapist) I always say to my clients that they must put their marriage as the priority or the relationship can much too easily get lost along the way. I can see you are someone who is not about to let that happen - but when the going gets a little tough, which it always does, here's a little reading you can turn to for a dose of inspiration and motivation: "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage." Best wishes into your 2nd year of marriage!
www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com

Hi, Bruce.

I'm not a dad (except to my pets), but I enjoy your columns for your insights on both fatherhood and wider aspects of living. I read you in the Santa Barbara News-Press.

I read "When Did I Become the Senior Dad?" on Tuesday, December 8, and enjoyed it. I hope I'm offering a helpful comment that according to most style books, adverbs ending in "ly" aren't connected with hyphens to the following word. I saw three usages with a hyphen (you're consistent!), including "fully-satisfied."

Good luck with the column! It's something I make the time to read every time I see it.

AJ;

I'm mystified as I can't find the ly's with the hypens you're talking about. I just posted my version of the "When Did I Become the Senior Dad" here on my site (in My Columns) and that is the version I sent to the SB Daily News. I wonder if they're editing it and adding or subtracting words and such? I can't get them to send me the tear-sheets so I don't see them very often and for some reason or another, I'm not listed as one of the columnists on their web-site (which I couldn't ever access anyway - go figure). So, please point out these errors, if you see them, in my own posting her on my site. I have a very anal editor (not at the SB News) who is quite the stickler for proper "style" and grammar which is not my strong suit.

I appreciate your kind words, like constructive criticism, and am pleased you're a regular reader. You might enjoy some of my "Just A Guy" blogs on momlogic.com (if you go there, please make a comment as it really helps). ...

Well it seems our messages cross. Good job--this is the biggest challenge of being a parent!

(Rats! Seems this message system only allows a minimum # of words.) The point of what I was saying is you must find a way to center your son's education around his music. He has a gift beyond most, and his learning process is through his gift of music. Your challenge as a father and a coach is to find a way to enable his gift and center his education around that gift.
Thanks again!

Thanks for the thought-provoking column today.
Bruce, I'd like you to think out of the box for a bit.
We've home-educated two children; no dogma, no religion, just following what our child is passionate about and being willing to change our approach as needed. We've learned a lot about the educational process in the context of a child's development into a unique individual. Here's a couple of thoughts:
-Each child is completely unique, from the beginning. We have one daughter completing her senior year of college, a born social worker and therapist. The other is eleven and is a math wiz. Why? We don't know, but with the first we relaxed our demands for math excellence, with the second, we've had to reach out to outside resources to keep her challenged.
-When we force children to "fit" a standardized set of educational values and curriculum, we do so at their peril. It works for some, but others are born to march to a different drummer, and it's our role to help clear the w...

Mark - I fully agree and support what you're saying! Really. I home-schooled my oldest for a year and a half and totally value those who do it and what it's all about. I also agree completely that kids can't fit into any standardized box. My boys are NOT me as my DNA column expresses (check it out in the columns section) and I've learned the hard way to support their passions. Good comment and thanks for making it!

Oh, my word! You certainly do have a lot to be thankful for… What an experience! The second – and last time – I was involved in a car accident was twenty years ago, and that was a head-on collision with a van. The terrifying part was Hollie, a baby, was trapped in the back. We got out, and although extremely shaky, we were fine. The first time, I was a passenger. The car spun out of control on a very icy road. As it went to roll into a ditch, I looked to the side of me and saw a post getting nearer. Thinking, this is the end, the post is coming through this window, I covered my head with a coat. The next, everything had stopped. We had hit the post, but it had broken the roll, which threw us back. It was the only post along that stretch. Call it luck – I don’t know. But I do believe someone was looking down on me. Like you, I brush aside trivialities. I cherish life, as you know. I am so happy you got out of that terrifying experience, because if you hadn’t, we’d never be chatting. ...

I just read your article in the Epoch Times about the inevitability of favouring one child over another.
I'm not sure I support the inevitability idea but I wanted to share a more pertinent thought.
I have two children now in their twenties. A few years ago as they were entering adulthood, we had a deep discussion on thenature of favouritism and they both categorically felt that the other had been unjustly favoured throughout their growing years. They'd seen it as their duty to accept this but admitted to feeling jealous a lot of the time.
So, regardless of our own perceptions of impartiality or otherwise, they saw things differently.
Fortunately, they got over it and now have a better, more adult, understanding of our relationships.

what a lot of people don't realize is that email is a permanent record. Many people treat email as if they were simply talking, so spelling and the like isn't considered. If you send an email to the wrong person, it can really hurt you, as did a friend of mine when he hit "Reply All" and wanted to know who the jerk was who had questioned what he had said. One can be too careful as to what is put in an email, but I kind of go by the advice my sainted mother (I always wanted to use that term, and now I did!) gave me which was "don't put anything in writing you might regret."

Just read your ‘Random Musings’. I thought I’m never going to be able to comment as there is so much written, but I have to say, I enjoyed this post – I enjoyed it because it brought back so many good memories of times in my own life. Sadly, my dad didn’t live to a ripe old age, but the time he was here was incredibly special, a lovely, always happy, man. Mum battled breast cancer – and won! She lives life to the full - and she is so green, knowing you met the cast of her favourite film ‘Singing in the Rain’! I’m not sure if you ever heard of ‘Morecambe and Wise’ – a great comedy act during the seventies/early eighties. They did a great version of Gene Kelly’s dance in the rain. About a month back, 100 clips were reviewed, that was voted second favourite. I’d best stop; I can see me taking up a whole page…

Lori;

Everyone has their own experiences and also views things from their own beliefs, gender, and upbringing. I'm very glad you haven't had the feeling that I've had that schools have significantly changed and been feminized or "hijacked" as I provocatively suggest in my blog. This issue clearly has stirred up a healthy dialogue as my blog, on momlogic, got 22 comments in the first day which is a very large number. Check 'em out and add your two cents there, too (then it'll be four cents!).

Thanks for taking the time and effort to express you opinion. It's valuable to us all.

Hi Bruce,

I'm not seeing what you're seeing in terms of the elementary schools hijacking the boys to the feminine side. My son currently has a male teacher, but I don't remember there being a plethora of male teachers when I was growing up. The books I see my kids being assigned to read are basic core lit books....nothing feminine about them and their free reading choices are their own. If male adults want to be treated with respect and have their children look up to them, then those male adults need to behave in a respectful way. With the empowerment of women over the last 4 - 5 decades, there's not a "fear" of voicing a negative opinion about a male's behavior. Bottom line....if you want respect and admiration, you have to earn it! Just my two cents!!

Enjoy the banter!!
Lori

On another note, your new wife wouldn't have joined the family unit if she didn't want to be there, which proves she is most happy, and I'll bet, loving it.

You are so right - who? Your blogs are read over here, but I will send an e-mail blast out to members on our website and see what happens. Also a message on the facebook wall - you may get it. That will be fun, you getting a message to look on your own site. Ha ha

Thanks Anita. My wife and I are both trying very hard to make this second marriage work. She has had a lot to put up with and a lot of change to deal with. My boys and I are VERY lucky to have her in our lives. I appreciate the comment. Now, let's get your friends over there in the U.K. to start reading my blogs and columns and commenting! (I can't help it - I use every opportunity to shamelessly self-promote my writing - if not me, then who?).

I’ve just read your article – I think you’ll always find that you can’t please everyone all of the time. And you are still a newly wed, so to speak, and your sons may still feel bruised. I think you are doing a great job – you ‘are’ trying, some wouldn’t bother.

Howard - Thanks so much. I've been following your work, too, and can't wait for your book!

Hey Bruce! I've been following your work, and it's great to see a man in action helping other men. Most men just joke around and BS each other, so we need a forum to talk about serious man stuff. We don't get any training in fathering our children, so we need to talk and exchange ideas and lessons. Good work!

Catch you later.