mother and father -

This past Easter I was skiing with my younger son. As my middle-aged body gets sore from several hours on the slopes, I tend to indulge in the jacuzzi to ease some the aches I’ve earned each day.??? On this past Easter Sunday, I ended up sharing the communal jacuzzi at the condo complex with members of a family who shared some personal stories. For me, they were inspirational.

I met Bob (names all changed) who was single 30+ years after divorcing the mother of Sharon and Mark, the other two adults in the jacuzzi. Bob had been their stepfather for seven years, yet remained actively involved in their lives long after he and their mother divorced. Sharon felt so close to him that when she got married she invited both her biological father and Bob to walk her down the aisle. This irritated her biological father who had evidently not been much of a father during the years before and after Bob was in Sharon’s life.

While walking with a friend the day after Thanksgiving, we shared our respective holiday experiences and noted that we were both now the senior dads–the main paternal figure in our respective families. We laughed together, but it was a moment of melancholy and reflection, both of which were feelings I had this Thanksgiving.

My father died four years ago and my mother died just a year ago, so this was our first Thanksgiving in which neither of my parents was with us. Yes, the aging of my parents effectively made me the “man in charge” for many of their later years, but I still viewed them as the senior generation and offered them the respect and deference that they continued to deserve during those difficult years. But now, other than an older 3rd cousin that I adore, it’s now me representing that older figure in our small family.

Tag Archives: mother and father

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